Winter is here…another new season of life to experience…my face often chilled & left damp by the winding gusts of wind & rain…noses & fingertips cold to the touch when our lips & hands meet…bland skin, as our food, now dry, pale & lacking summer’s golden glow…
storms of sea swell that push mountains of waves into the landscape’s edges, over & exposing slabs of rock that foam & swirl pushing them back to the depths, the cliffs rapidly breathing out their salty mist…& back into my lungs as i too exhale, having held mine gasping underneath this violent greeting…
this is the wild winter that i dreamed of here in Ireland…breaks of waves neatly tucked into the deep jagged corners of the coast, below, at the valley of the encircling mountains…with the sun above, an equal arc now in the sky…winter solstice…the days now can only grow longer, with more light to re-nourish our energies.
The darkness feels heavy on me as everything slows down…every movement, every thought…my body tight & stiff…well-rested yet still tired enough to just let it all stop…in sleep, against the warmth of his skin…& i realize again how connected we all are to this energy…from the sun…with the change of the seasons…i am now living my life through the seasons…
whereas before, all things constant, i kept up my steady pace…one foot in front of the other…all things so certain, all things so sure…there was no question where to go when i awoke, to where i was needed…offering healing hands & words, giving away so much of my own energy…whereas here, now in this winter, is the time to give back to myself…to heal my own body…& to prepare for the season of new growth to come.
our love, the ever constant light in the challenges of starting this new life…in a new inconstant country…I can speak the language, but every thing is still different…& it’s challenging to find the places where i can belong…armed with a wealth of knowledge, experience, & desire to help others, i am resorted to serving tea & wrapping packages…full of vitality & kindness for my friends, i am distanced from their company…frustrated, i am reminded to be content with the simplicity…& to be patient during this time of transition as i focus on building my dreams…my dream for a sustainable, healthy future & giving more to help heal & empower a community, surrounded by the sea…just as it has done for me.
I reflect upon all of the things that this year has given to me, & where i was but a year ago…I was filling the gaps at home making plans to move to California, hoping to find a place to settle for surf & to launch another adventure on the far side…but fate would take me to another direction. I was humbled when I failed a credentialing examination required for work, but inspired when I found another path for growing, as i now knew the truth in the connection of our health, & our food. I tried to build contentment at home in Florida, by acquiescing to what was expected of me, & burying myself in attempts to find the right person, place or community to feel at home with…but i could always feel the energy calling me home to Ireland.
It was amazing how easy it then was to just be present…& to finally just be myself…& i was appreciated. i was surrounded. i learned so much about community & i let go of the stubborn self-sufficiency that had kept me from being complete…now whole, i learned just how much i was worthy of being given, as the universe aligned & every thing in life that i could ever want walked into my life…& now every dream held beyond my grasp is here in my hands, here in my heart.
Life with a partner to share has been the most amazing gift i have ever received…our days are full of joy…laughter…peace. I find the best version of myself in listening & sharing more…& i have found my home. Even with the longing this holiday season to be closer to friends & family afar, & the uncertainty of where exactly we will be in the new year, i know that Robin & i will grow together, with each passing season to come.
festive holiday greetings for a happy Christmas & growing love in the new year…all of my love & gratitude:)
The Gratitude Leap 