roots

Follow me to where our rivers run
Diving into the glimmering sun,
Where we stand soft golden sands
Bonding love with our hands…

Under a bowery of leaves beam
Golden heavens canopy this dream,
From the very roots of my heart
Growing to cherish never apart…

Sweet solitude in the mountains give us peace
Branching through love, our souls’ release,
A child once young & free
Your spirit always carried with me…

Moments. My dear friend gave me a book that expressed the connection between surfing & living in the moment. It’s a way of life that as a surfer, you’re blessed to come to understand…no paddle, no surf…no samsara, no nirvana…essentially, life is going to be equally full of “suffering” as joy…

I found, followed, created & cultivated my own happiness in Ireland..many now ask why I can’t do that here at home in the United States…I don’t believe that I could not…or that any one place offers any more joy or disappointment than the other…I am amazed by the love & generosity of my friends & family here! I’ve been gifted so much…from clothes to keep me warm to a new loving home for my pups to food in my belly! Or a roof over my head! I am continually blessed & grateful for these people & places that feel like home. I know that I am suffering to leave loved ones & miss meaningful moments…I’ve already missed many & will continue to with sadness & longing…for my roots are here & they run deep, strong with generations of love! …branching!…growing!…sharing!

So just as a cutting taken from this tree, these things are in every way still with me…parts of my very soul now transplanted to lay down my own roots! to weave into the nourishing earth…to rise a strong trunk to stretch with the vibrant sun…& to extend the branches to bear the fruits of all of the love surrounding me.

Here, I have found my balance between both life’s disappointments & joys…because here I have started to build a life in which I can live in the present…& be grateful for the moments…it’s all that any of us can ever do, anywhere! We are only promised moments…not even minutes, nor hours, nor days or years…just moments! How we live is how we choose to respond in those moments…do we react with fear, judgment or negativity? Or do we give love, patience & hope?

My heart overwhelms in gratitude when I think about the moments that I’ve experienced in all of my life leading up to this point…the memories cherished from a child to now, always guided by such a loving family…I feel this when we gather around the dinner table…where I once sat without a partner, now bestowed & adorned with an Irish linen cloth so that we may always join them…I give thanks, instead of taking these moments for granted in life, of breath! as I sat with my parents in the hospital last week…I give thanks, instead of regret for the moments holding my sweet nephews to sleep…I give love! instead of fear for each & every moment that I can share with Robin…no matter where we are in the world, together or apart.

My family always reminds me of my roots, & I won’t ever forget where I came from. I spent the past weekend visiting them & my dear Granny Duke as we celebrated years of her willful work, perseverance & faith to see her dream through…I couldn’t have felt any more connected to her, wearing the golden necklace from my mother, from hers, & from hers…generations of all of us connected in spirit, as I watched Granny work, directing with that southern moxie, fierce independence & timely smile…her work was not just honored in it’s completion, the outcome would never have mattered, but by the love & energy that could be felt between every person along the way, there & in spirit, that came together to praise & support her. She created a space for us to gather & celebrate, & the spirit of my mothers & fathers will always live on between the bowery of those wooden beams…as well as in me with the work that I have begun in Ireland.

Granny took me to my forever home in the mountains, the place where as children we swam in the golden, silver streams, glimmering light our eyes & lush evergreen canopies to shelter…& I remembered all the moments shared…picking berries, making jam, lighting fires, collecting rocks, hunting for skinks, walking the road, hiking the hill, swimming in the cool water, stomping, dancing to bluegrass, sharing meals, sitting to yaw the day away & reading myself to sleep…life in Ireland couldn’t be any closer to home…for this is our heritage…& from that island…across the sea…to the mountains…I came to be…